Emotional Sanity: Pre-requisite to make decision

Don't promise when you are too happy.

Don't reply when you are too angry.

Don't decide when you are too sad.

-Buddha

I have been binge-reading books on emotions and conscience like Emotional Intelligence, Power of Now, Power of the subconscious mind, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, How to Meditate, The Untethered soul. I learned so many amazing things about emotions, thoughts, and mind. Finally, after all the reading and contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that from emotions, thoughts, and mind what should we trust. The answer is neither of them.

I have a friend named Vasupradha. We met in a Sanskrit class. She practices yoga and meditation for years. You can feel the enormous positive energy in her presence. Always smiling and one of the most cheerful people I have met. She gave me a wonderful analogy of how our mind is. Our conversation went something like this. You know how your mind is. It's like a mon... Before she completes her sentence I told her, Yes monkey mind. It's like a monkey mind. She said yes dear you are correct. Its like a monkey mind, but not only monkey mind, its like a drunken monkey mind. And, not only a drunken monkey mind, its like a drunken monkey mind bite by a scorpion.

Anyone who meditates knows that the time we try to be still or when we try to sleep at night. All the emotions, thoughts, and 1000 years old memories come back to your attention out of no-where. You would just feel like telling your mind to Shut up and let me sleep. The more we try to resist, the more it gets provoked and gets crazy. My Dada (grand-father) says, In the middle of the night some times when I can't sleep due to wandering mind, I tell my mind "Ok, My dear Mind, Run. Do whatever you can. I am watching you. Let me see how much you want to wander and get crazy"

The mad person believes all their thoughts, normal person believes some of their thoughts, wise person believes very few of their thoughts while the awakened person believes none of their thoughts. -Nithya Shanti

I have learned from the Power of the subconscious mind that Watch the thinker. You are not your thoughts. You are not your emotions. You are the observer of your thoughts and emotions. The biggest misconception for any person is to misunderstand "I as my emotions" or "I as my thoughts". So you can not decide, promise and reply when you are in the peak of emotions because that's not you. You can find many research studies that prove how human dysfunction in extreme emotions.

अति सर्वत्र वर्जयेत् |

Excess of anything is Bad. This is true for good and bad both. You can not promise someone when you are too happy. You can not decide when you are too sad. When we are in extreme emotions, the time zooms and we feel this is going to be forever. Do we have that sense where we are able to think that? This too shall pass. No we think we are going to be in this sorrow for the rest of our lives.

The decision to fight or not fight?

I was learning Karate for 2 months because I always wanted to get a Black belt. Presently I am a Gold belt. If the lockdown would have happened after a week, I would have got my Green belt. When I was near my orange belt, one day I was very anxious. I thought my evenings are spent in Sanskrit class or Karate classes, and on weekends I love biking which I can't compromise. So I should stop learning karate though I love it. I should stop learning that for some time. That day I met my friend Naisargi who has been my support system in my low times. We often meet and love to have our Chai together. I told her my feelings that I think I should stop karate. She knew how much I love karate. She told me, "If you still believe the same tomorrow that you want to quit think about it SERIOUSLY. Today you are not in the right state of mind to think anything."

It is said that Knowledge is just the data, wisdom is to know what to do next and importantly what not to do, skill is to know how to do it, while virtue is actually doing it. Though I knew it, I did not apply it and Naisargi made me realize it.

I knew I was having an emotional outburst and hence I decided to see patiently if I still hold that view in my normal state of mind. I decided not to trust my emotions and thoughts because they are not me and they can manipulate me to take the wrong decision.

If I wait for one day to make a decision about whether to quit Karate or not, are we taking the decision? Are you taking the right decision when you are under pressure or are pressurized to make a decision? Don't succumb under pressure when you are making an important decision in your life. Take all the time you want when you are deciding. Don't make the decision until you feel it just right with a neutral state of mind. Do not rush for decision making when you are very happy, under high pressure or you are very sad. It's your life and it's your time. Fight for your own time, I am sure it can get extremely difficult. But try to stay as calm as you can and only decide when you feel you are in the right state of mind. You don't need to give any explanation to anyone for what you feel right, because the world may never understand what may be right or wrong for you. Sure you want to consider every perspective from a non-judgemental lens. But in the end, you get to decide what you need to do in the right state of mind!