A beautiful journey from loneliness to solitude.

‘Loneliness” - The cruel world! For some, its the feeling that we are experiencing right now while For others, it is a nostalgia that we don’t want to revisit! Well, people feel lonely when they are away from family or have lost a loved one or got their heartbroken, or when not being heard and some other reasons. However, these reasons sound nothing but gloomy situations! What if I tell you Loneliness is a bliss. You must be thinking how could loneliness be a bliss? Well, It can if you turn it into solitude. No, they are not the same if you are thinking about that! Loneliness is to feel, solitude is a state to be.

It is not going to be easy. It is not easy to hold yourself together when all you want is an ear to listen to you. To not have a shoulder to cry on when you are going through the worst times. To not have someone around you when you are falling apart. To walk alone when your heart is shattered into pieces. To not feel lonely in such times. I know you feel almost desperate to demolish the sad loneliness that you feel. To wish for an angel to come to your life and love you so much that you forget how lonely you were. You crave for companionship. You pity yourself for being where you are. You wish for miracles with your melancholy of being alone. But life does not care about what we wish for, does it? It is still going to throw more of those days at you, you see! What if I tell you, your lonely days could make you a better person? What if I tell you that the same days when you were pitying, you would love yourself instead.

We have been so comfortable with the noise that silence is almost uncomforting. We almost never spend enough time with ourselves. We are always surrounded by people. Our emotions are only connected to external entities. If we removed all those people and entities, we would be bewildered!

You need to be comfortable with yourself first before expecting anything from the world. You need to learn to enjoy your own company and that is what we call solitude.

Do what you love:

Sounds cliche? I know. But it works! Spend some time and think about what makes you happy. It need not be big. Small things that give you joy. Things that when you do make you feel alive.

Paint. Sing. Sleep. Watch that movie. Water that plant. Arrange your wardrobe. Make a bucket list of things that you would love to do. Visit the places alone. If not long trips, how about sipping a cup of coffee at that super old fashioned coffee shop in your city? Play a game, Count the stars in the sky. Write that poem where nothing rhymes. Clean your place. Your house or maybe just the sofa. Take a walk. Sauther. Do something or absolutely nothing, whatever makes you happy at that moment. You know what I mean?

Make a time table:

It is ok if you don’t follow it, just make one for now! Time table for yourself. A schedule to stay healthy. Time to eat an apple, time to exercise, time to go to sleep, and time to wake up. Plan it out. It will give you a sense of clarity. You will feel like you already know how your days are going(Ok I said, you will feel like that!). It will reduce the unwanted perplexing feeling that crips in every now and then. It will restore your belief in yourself as you keep following it. When you try to aim for bigger things in life, you will trust yourself that you can do it

Keep a diary:

Write. Whatever damn thing that you want to write about. Just write. I won’t tell you what to write because that will ruin the experience. So every single day, be it a single line but write. Sometimes, just scribble. It’s cool!

Meditate:

Start with three minutes a day. Sit in a place alone. Just you and your breaths. Inhale deeply. Exhale slowly. Three minutes a day, at a fixed time. Listen to your breaths crisp and clear. Let me tell you, your mind will wander. Hundreds of thoughts will cross your mind when you will close your eyes. Just acknowledge and let them go. Do not be hard on yourself. It will be fine.

Travel alone:

What? What good will it do for a person who is already feeling lonely? Well, just go somewhere. Meet people there. Observe around. Explore. Get scared. Feel lost. Ask for help. Enjoy a drink alone in an absolutely strange place. Keep yourself safe. Talk to people. Eat as they eat. Just, be there and go with the flow.

One thing at a time:

Do not overdo anything. Take a break. Break from your routine and from people. Focus on a single thing. Finish that off. It’s okay to walk slow, sometimes. Don’t compare your journey with anyone else’s. Appreciate your efforts. Respect your journey.

Stop looking for people to depend on:

It’s amazing to have people and support systems in your life who help you get through tough times. But, before that, you need to love yourself. You need to know your soul. People can only come in your life and celebrate or cry with you, but it is you who feels. It is you who suffers. It is you who knows who you are. So, don’t wait for an angel. Be an angel of your own.

Let me tell you something. When the days seem long, the world seems unfair, the silence seems brooding and you feel empty - It is hard. It is hard to do any of the things that I mentioned above. But please try. Try and fail. It will not turn things around in a day or two. It is a journey with a few rough and steep roads. It is a tough one and I would not lie. But eventually, it would become a beautiful experience that will make you fall in love with yourself. Eventually, the silence will start to soothe you. Eventually, it would be only solitude and never loneliness. You will love the people around you but a single chair in front of a table would not look that odd too.

Now, Is it almost weird if I tell you that feeling lonely is a gift? Give yourself a chance to enjoy your own company, will you?